PicoCool - Vivian Maier Street Photography
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Monday
Saturday
Priceless
If there onething Ive seen through
all of this... you cant make someone love you.
"Either it is or it aint" and today I flipped tails...
he wants another in his arms.
Another in his bed, another in his fantasies, in his thoughts
in his present, in his future...
And there is nothing I can do about it.
He believes I'm sure that I am clueless, but the moment
he met her, I felt it in my bones...
he has no idea, but that shrill ran though me
as clear as day
-and still he lies-
Too bad he wants to live this way, hes so unfulfilled & out of touch,
I feel badly for him.
"Life is measured in moments," not stories, lovers, liquor, clothes, money, status.
My life was better because of the moments I had with him.
-priceless-
all of this... you cant make someone love you.
"Either it is or it aint" and today I flipped tails...
he wants another in his arms.
Another in his bed, another in his fantasies, in his thoughts
in his present, in his future...
And there is nothing I can do about it.
He believes I'm sure that I am clueless, but the moment
he met her, I felt it in my bones...
he has no idea, but that shrill ran though me
as clear as day
-and still he lies-
Too bad he wants to live this way, hes so unfulfilled & out of touch,
I feel badly for him.
"Life is measured in moments," not stories, lovers, liquor, clothes, money, status.
My life was better because of the moments I had with him.
-priceless-
Always.. Sun In Face.. Hand In Hand...
T-Bird, Red, Convertible, Me & You driving down some freeway, singing our hearts out to some song. Sun in Face, hair blowing back, hand in hand, noticing the gas gauge, Always on FULL.
Sunday
This Is How I Knew:
I felt a pang of wishing you were here with me right now.
I felt a jolt of happiness as i remembered you would be here soon.
Saturday
Heart Diamond Necklace
I write this entry smiling and holding a heart shaped diamond necklace in my hand.
I have dreamed of a gift like this from him for so long now, I am so happy the day finally came.
I could tell, when he handed me the white box, that he was proud. That he took the time to stew over which item was the perfect piece to give me. It could have been tin foil in the box, it almost didn't matter. I could read in his eyes that he was happy, excited, and put a lot of thought and love into choosing this gift for me.
For those of you who like to track the progression of a relationship (like myself) here is a point of measurement......
I asked him what it was like picking out this gift compared to what it was like picking out jewelery for previous girlfriends. He said this time, he picked the one, regardless of being expensive, that he wanted me to have. That it said what he wanted it to say.
That present means the world to me.
Celebrating a Milestone (whatever that means these days...) With the Ones You Love
I felt a bit like a fish out of water on my birthday. Here I had a clear idea of what I wanted to feel but when the day actually came, I was nowhere near those feelings.
It took a few minutes in each situation to adjust to being the one honored for being alive. I didn't know what to do with the responses of my family, friends and of my boyfriend. I wanted to absorb the affection like a sponge and I wanted to deflect it like a shield.
What I did do though, was appreciate the time everyone set aside to be with me. Whether or not I am able to embrace the notion of celebrating my life, I appreciated every second I had with my loved ones.
I also was taken back by all of the messages I received via facebook, mobile, email.
I was blown away by how many people took the time to write. It makes me wonder what they see that I don't.
Written With A Broken Heart
It's colder: now, the time stands in it's limbo
And the motions continue but the heart stays in bed.
Bed, the last place I felt safe, your arms, your look, your eyes.
Your strength, your solidarity; it's chilly now, I've lost my coat.
I'm wandering, looking for you, up every street, around every corner.
Where are you? I've lost my right mitten; my hand is numb with confusion.
It was like a short ramp off a tremendous cliff, and, I wonder if I could have been better.
-KK
Wednesday
Monday
Revist of.....One Day I'm Going To.........
One Day I'm Going To..... (written 08/06)
1. Go to Lourdes in France and pray at the Grotto.
2. Go to Africa and show the world humanity at its best.
3. eat a coconut that just fell from a tree.
***starting watching Lost.
4. fall asleep on a hammock.
5. turn my cellphone and computer off.
***because I am more green these days and also $ consciuos, this was much easier than I had thought it to be...
6. get Law and Order dvd collection.
***I did get season 7 of SVU on bloockbuster/nexflixish thing, but in the fall, decided this show wasn't going to be my favorite anymore.
7. buy a faux fur.
***I have tried on countless faux's in thirft stores (thats the one price point that is remotely realistic) but have yet to make the plunge....
8. plant a tree and take care of it.
***i recently heard about a tree that can grow to the size of the average forest tree in only 10 years rather that 250 years. Shouldnt we be planting these like now?
9. nurture a garden.
***really badly want this pot that has lilyac seeds in it. all you have to do is water and put in the sunlight, and it grows and smells amazingly, last saw it at urbanoutfitters.
10. sleep in all day, never get out of my pj's.
***OHHH BOYYY, when i tell you that this is serioulsy ALL i do now, you wouldnt even believe me. For better or for worse, this specific thing on Tues and Thursday and Friday, is my full time job!!!
11. raise a puppie.
***Oh My God, if you could just know for a second the amount of love that i have for my Meghan Lilly... oh she is the most amazing puppy the world will ever know. I swear to you, she smiles when she runs after dogs in the bark park, she "ruffs" in her dreams, she can only sleep if she can lay her body on yours for warmth, she has stinky paws and bristley fur on her back, but she graces the world with a Jackie O, Elizabeth Taylor manner. She cries when she wants to get out of her house, and barks when she wants to eat, and knips when she has to go to the bathroom. She also only behaves when I am around and acts like a crazy fool when people are watching. (everyone i know has hinted to me in some shape or form, that Meg Lil needs proffessiona training.) And only my dog... would have a water proof coat and an innate enthusiasm for swimming.
12. go wine tasting.
***not officially, but i have tasted wine.
Tuesday
Friday
Miru Kim - River Tyburn London
Miru Kim is known as the "naked urban photographer." She is a boundreyless artist who walks around naked in abandoned and seemingly desolate urban places in cities such as New York, Paris and Berlin. She has photographed various familiar urban settings, such as abandoned subway stations, tunnels, aqueducts, factories, hospitals and shipyards. Her series, Naked City Spleen, is a dissection of places built and forgotten and somehow exposed by the naked body of the artist.
One of my favorite collections I've seen this year.
Wednesday
Grace is Gone
I guess this movie left me not only in tears, but physically with a heart ache. Not many movies do that, even if you let them. In the wake of tragedy, I have found myself wondering what I was like before the event, in the moments leading up to it.
I fantasize that the world was perfect, I felt great, and nothing but goodness surrounds me. And as hard as I try, I can't recall what I was complaining about, or what kept me up at night, or what was stressing my heart before it happen.
This movie beautifuly articulates a fathers effort in making the seemingly "perfect world" last just a little longer before 2 lives are changed forever.
Sunday
The Question - Pablo Neruda
Love, a question
has destroyed you.
I have come back to you
from thorny uncertainty.
I want you straight as
the sword or the road.
But you insist
on keeping a nook
of shadow that I do not want.
My love,
understand me,
I love all of you,
from eyes to feet, to toenails,
inside,
all the brightness, which you kept.
It is I, my love,
who knocks at your door.
It is not the ghost, it is not
the one who once stopped
at your window.
I knock down the door:
I enter your life:
I come to live in your soul:
you cannot cope with me.
You must open door to door,
you must obey me,
you must open your eyes
so that I may search in them,
you must see how I walk
with heavy steps
along all the roads
that, blind, were waiting for me.
Do not fear,
I am yours,
but
I am not the passenger or the beggar,
I am your master,
the one you were waiting for,
and now I enter
your life,
no more to leave it,
love, love, love,
but to stay.
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